That's Just How
by iknowuknow
Summary: Our favorite characters as children
1. That's Just How It Is

Henry heard the radio turn on upstairs.

"Who can it be-dow?" Shawn sang loudly.

"What are you singing?" Henry asked.

"A song by Men At Work!" the 5-year-old yelled, then began again, "Who can it be-dow?"

"Is that the words to the song?"

"Yep! Well, there's maybe more...but I don't think so. Ooo! 'Jessie is a friend...'"

"What are you singing, Shawn?"

He didn't stop singing.

"...had Jessie-skirl! I wish that I had Jessie-skirl! Where can I fight a woman like that?"

Henry paused for a little to listen to his son completely mess up the song's lyrics.

"Those are the words?" Henry asked.

"Yep! Oh! 'Icy you, and youcy me...'"

Henry thought _yet another song he doesn't actually know the words too!_ He listened a little more.

"You can't escape pi-ies! Pie-ven I's, the watch and you, facing your every move. Pie-vet eyes..."

Henry laughed. _Gee, that kid can really mess up a song!_

"...the watch and you!"

Henry walked downstairs. He could still hear Shawn repeat the same incorrect words over and over again.

_Oh, new song!_

"The bake-a-berry morning..." Shawn started a new song.

_Great...9-to-5...one of Maddie's favorites._

"..the baby needs a tether..."

_Where is he getting this?_

"...he works from 9 to 5 to 10..."

_Only he sings songs he doesn't know, and probably thinks he has them all correct!_

Shawn stopped singing and started in a round of "dun dun dadaddadadadaaa!" to the tune of the _Magnum P.I. _theme song as he tore down the stairs.

"_Magnum P.I. _is on!" Shawn yelled as he flew to the TV.

"You can't tell time, yet you can still tell when your favorite show is on. How?"

"I dunno, Dad, that's just the way it is!"

~A few years later~

"Hey, Dad, where's the Thriller cassette and the camcorder?" Shawn yelled.

"The garage. Why?"

"Oh, Gus wore his Micheal Jackson outfit and couldn't Moonwalk, so we're doing Thriller and we want you to tape it. That way we can show it and win the talent show and steal that trophy away from Ronnie Coxwell!"

"How do you know this idea will work, Shawn?"

"'Cause, Dad, that's just the way it is!"

Henry sighed, _the kids get old, but the answers get older!_


	2. That's Just How I Deal with Theives

"Why can't I be the cop?" Jeremy asked.

"Because," replied Carlton, "I'm gonna be a cop when I grow up! I need practice!"

"You're 7, how do you know what you're gonna be?"

"'Cause I'm not dumb, Jimmy."

"Hey! Carl, you gotta-"

Jeremy stopped talking when an older kid on skates pushed him off the sidewalk near Carlton's house, and into the street.

"Hey, get back here, Bobby!" Carl yelled, running after him.

The kid and his friends just laughed.

The next day after school, a few boys found their bikes were missing.

"What are we gonna do?" one asked.

"Um...Oh! I've got it!" another exclaimed.

"What?" his three friends asked.

"You know that kid down the street, Carlton?"

"Jimmy's friend?" asked Jimmy's older brother.

"Yeah, the kid who's hair is too neat. He wants to be a cop!"

"We'll give it a try!"

The next day, Saturday, Carlton and Jeremy searched everywhere for the missing bikes. They finally hit the jackpot when an anonymous tip from a voice sounding a lot like Petie Walters told them the bikes were sighted near the favorite hang out of Bobby Walters and his friends.

Sure enough, Carlton found the older boys messing with them near the alley on State Street.

"Stop right there!" he yelled.

"No!" yelled back Bobby.

"Stop it, or else!"

"Or else what?" Bobby asked, approaching him.

"Or else I'll kick your butt!"

Bobby turned to his friends. "Hear this, guys? Little Carl Lassiter says he's gonna kick my butt!"

The group of 10th graders laughed.

"You realize I'm more than twice your age, right kid?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah. You know, Bobby, I thought most people graduated by 18. Seeing as how you'd be lucky to graduate before you can legally drink..."

"Hey, kid, you better shut up!"

"Hey, kid, you better shut up," mocked Carlton, "Or what?"

"Or...or..."

"What, cat got your tongue?"

"That's it, kid! You're done for!"

Carlton dodged the fist that came out him by going under Bobby legs. He then hit the kid below the knees. Bobby came tumbling down.

The police, who Carlton signaled Jeremy to call when he saw a few other stolen objects, arrived then.

"Wow! You find these guys?" one officer asked.

"Yep."

"And you two took him down?"

"Actually, just Carlton did," Jeremy corrected.

"Wow, kid! Ever think about being a cop?"

* * *

"Hey, stop right there!"

"Who're you?"

"Officer-In-Training Carlton Lassiter," he replied, pulling out a badge.

"They give you a badge for being a wannabe?"

"I happen to be at the top of my class in the classes I take at the citizen police academy, and this may or may not be from a cereal box."

"Whatever, kid."

"I'm serious! Drop it," Lassiter stated flatly.

"No."

The guy began to walk away from what he thought was a harmless 16-year-old with a plastic badge.

Unfortunately for him, this "harmless" 16-year-old had been training with his "Uncle" Steven for the last 9 years.

He kicked the guy's butt until the guy was so beaten, he couldn't get up.

Then Head Detective Steven Franplick arrested the know criminal.

"Good arrest, Carlton," he commended gruffly.

"No problem, Uncle Steven; that's just how I deal with theives."


	3. That's Just How I Lay Down the Law

"Either you play the right way, or don't play at all," 7-year-old Henry told the three family members surrounding him.

"But it's only Hide-and-Go-Peek," his 4-year-old brother complained.

"You don't peek!" their cousin, Cassie, claimed.

"Do you want the hiders to know you're coming, Jackie?" Henry asked.

Jack shrugged. "I dunno. Should I?"

"No!"

"Why not?" another cousin, Carl, asked.

"Because these are the rules! Now split up and look for people! Go!"

They scoured the Spencer house, following Henry's rules, searching for the various cousins hiding throughout the family party.

* * *

"Hey, slow down!" 12-year-old Henry commanded.

"What are you doing? He's an 8th grader," Henry's best friend, David Harding, asked with an edge of fear.

"I'm the hall monitor, it's my job!"

"Is there a problem?" the kid asked, sure this little 6th grader had nothing on him.

"Yes. There's no running in the halls."

"Why should I listen to you? You're just a kid! You shouldn't even be a hall monitor over here! This is the 8th grade hall!"

"I have jurisdiction over the whole school. Besides, my detention slips are universal. Now I was just on my way to see Principal Cullvins. Do I need to report you to him?" Henry asked with a determined glare.

"Uh, no, I guess not."

"Good."

"See you around, Punk!" David called. He turned to Henry. "You should be a cop!"

"Yeah, I know."


	4. That's Just How I Take Down the Bad Guy

"You be the pink car; I'll be the blue car," Joe O'Hara told his neighbor.

"But I'm always the pink one! Pink is a girl color! Why do you always get to be the blue?" asked Bobby.

"Because I'm 11, and you're 9; so I'm bigger, and you gotta listen to me."

"No, he doesn't," came a voice from the closet.

Joe stood up from his place on the floor in his room. He shook his head. His red hair was in the same haircut as Rick Astley.

"Julie, you better not be in my closet again!"

"I'm not," came the reply.

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. I'm...in the kitchen making a samwich."

"So i won't find you in the closet?"

"Nope!"

He opened the door expecting to find his nosy little sister. Instead, he found an empty closet.

"Where are you now?" he asked the air.

"I told you, I'm in the kitchen making a samwich!"

"Then how did you know what I was doing?"

"Um...'cause I'm a private eye, and I'm watchin' you!"

"Really, Julie?" he asked into the hallway.

"Yep, and I watched all the stuffs you did," she replied from behind him.

"How did you- you weren't in the- where were you?"

"I can't tell you. That information is top secret," she answered, pulling out plastic handcuffs.

"What are you gonna do with those?"

"You're under arrest for being a meanie, anything you say canned and willed be used against you in a court of love. You have the right to and a turnie. If you canned a Ford 1, 1 will be a point and 2 you."

"What? You can't arrest me. Sorry, Julie, but I'm more than twice your age. Plus, I'm a boy! Everyone knows boys are way stronger than girls!"

Then Joe started to walk away backward, sticking out his tongue at her.

"I wouldn't do that, Joey," 9-year-old Andy O'Hara warned.

"What could she do, And? C'mon, she's just a little-"

Ewan tackled him while Juliet used his surprise to her advantage. She quickly snapped the plastic cuffs on his hands.

"Wow! How'd you do that?" Bobby asked, watching from Joe's doorway.

"Ewy and me practiced!"

7-year-old Ewan gave her a high five.

* * *

Joe walked to the bathroom, leaving his friend behind in the candy section of a large store.

Juliet was looking at some candy with a friend farther down the aisle.

"Jules, come over here."

"I told you not to call me that, Greg," Juliet called to her brother's friend.

"I'll call you whatever I want!" he retorted, stuffing candy in his pockets.

"I wouldn't do that," warned Juliet's best friend, Sara.

"Oh, and why not? She's an seventh grader, and she's only 11. I'm an 11th grader, and 18. I can do whatever I want and she can't stop me!"

"Oh, yeah?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah!" he replied challengingly.

Juliet pointed to security guard and Sara went to retrieve him.

Greg immediately ran out of the store and took off down the street.

The security guard chased after him, but Greg had a head start.

The security guard watched as he took off down the street.

Someone suddenly came running out of an alley farther down.

They watched as Juliet took him down and pinned him to the ground.

The security guard got to where Juliet was, then grabbed Greg off the ground.

"How'd you do that?" he asked her as they walked back to the store.

"I took a shortcut through the back door. After that it was easy!"

"That was amazing!"

She shrugged her shoulders, "That's just how I take down the bad guy."


End file.
